My fear kept me as frozen as a deer caught in headlights, waiting for whatever fate I was going to receive, I only hoped it wouldn't be painful. As I ...ay there, a new form was forming in front of me, which only made me cower in fear. What was before me was a four armed, four nippled, grey demon-like being, with a tentacled face, weird fleshy tail, and two dicks. I'd make a joke about a lack of modesty, but I'm too scared to bother. As it stood in front of me, it began to speak."It is I,. I camped after Thanksgiving down south of Tucson where I had absolutely no cell coverage and no Internet. I needed time to contemplate the lint in my navel and decide what I was going to do next. What had I accomplished when I ‘hit the road, Jack’?I’d traveled 38,000 miles through thirty-six states and up into one Canadian province. I’d been to national parks and monuments, and some of the most beautiful and romantic places in the U.S. Most of them alone. In the not-alone times, I’d had seven. More

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