Become whole. Yet, within my soul, I know that that option is not. The flow of self-depreciating sadness moving across each numb nerve with the quiet...coldness of ice, numbing my heart to what I have been part of, have seen. As tempting, in its own way, as the power I could open myself to. I choose. There really was not much of a choice, the decision made in an instant. I rein in my mind and flow, not outward as a waterfall, but inward, sinking into the black hole that is the remnant of my. A few messages later we had agreed on a meeting in two hours down a small back Lane I knew well.From then on it was a quick shower, hair done and make up. All the time thinking what am I doing meeting a stranger to watch me piss. Then the thought of all the other stranger hook ups over the years plus this time I was driving so would not be influenced by anything! Deciding what to wear I threw on a bra and white top. Deciding it was more of a thrill I forego any undies and pulled a pair of black. More

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