Firstly, I wasn't ill, I was jealous and secondly, I wasn't jealous of him getting the girl, I was jealous of the girl getting him.I cried that night ...nd I didn't know why.Next day, I asked him how things had been and he just said "Great." I couldn't push him into any detail though he had obviously screwed her.By lunch time he noticed my bad mood. I told him I had a headache. I had this enormous urge to hold him and kiss him. "KISS HIM," was I turning queer???I ignored Grant for the rest of the. “You know that right?” “Yeah I know,” I would answer. Dying inside to scream it back. “You are a great friend who I love dearly.” I hated him. So many times I was told that he loved me as a friend and that he cared about me. It broke my heart inside to hear these words. Here I am, out of this world in love with this man and he tells me that he loves me so much as his friend. Nothing could honestly feel any worse than that. So as you could probably imagine, even within all of this and just. More

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