There’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home!A hooker once told me she had a headache.I was making love to this girl and she started crying....I said, ‘Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?’ She said, ‘No, I hate myself now.’My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.I’m so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.The other day I came home early and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, ‘Why?’ He said,. But, as a girl, hewas incredible.I looked back to him. He had a worried look. Do I like him as a girlor as a guy?All this is a revelation. But more than that - for all my old little-girl dreams of him that were dashed, I now discovered him, or maybe it's"rediscovered." Now that I have him, I found I wouldn't... couldn't givehim up. And if I ever tell him the truth, could I lose him again? Icouldn't risk that. Even if I lose Dan-the-girl, at least I would haveDan-the-guy. So I won't tell. More

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