I've always known I was. Please try to understand."For what seemed like an eternity they both just stared at me. Then Mum leapt to her feet, sobbed, "...h Lucy, how could you?" and fled from the room. Dad looked apoplectic with rage, his face scarlet around his ridiculous little moustache. He stood up and, like some Victorian landlord, pointed to the front door and said in a low voice, "Get out of my house, you bloody pervert."That really annoyed me. I stood nose to nose with him and snapped, "Oh. Sunday came, the house clean, lamb in oven 11:00, by 13:00 kitchen smells of lunch, not cunt. Neighbour arrives 10 mins late; all hello’s done kisses on cheeks, hands over a bottle of champagne, which floors the wife and me, Nafis explains it's between her and her god and once in a while, special occasions, she thinks its OK. “Let's make it a special occasion then,” the wife said “I understand you would like a special treat for dessert. let's drink to that.The first bottle opened just about got. More

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