As if someone had taken all the really awful 'Jelly Belly' jelly bean flavours, like 'Green Tea' and 'Puppy Sick' and 'Buttered Popcorn' and 'Hamster ...roppings' and 'Liquorice' and 'Squid Ink', and mixed them all together into one of those superfood smoothies that pretentious beardy wankers and their insufferably smug significant others sup whilst clutching their Fjallraven backpacks as they wander up and down Brick Lane looking for Rough Trade East. And, having concocted the equivalent of. . she just couldn't be talking to me. I was just the BOY next door. But to my utter amazement, she was talking to me. I explained the sleeping arrangement at my house and why I wouldn't be able to meet her till 10 ish at the Johnson's. She told me that was fine.I doubt if 10 o'clock ever took so long to happen to anybody as it did to me that evening. I mean Christmas came faster when you were 6 than 10 PM was happening. Finally we all went to bed and I waited until I could hear my father. More

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