Archie stared miserably at a pile of papers on the desk. It wasn’t the fact that it was thin, or reasonably small, and could easily be dealt with �... it was, simply, that it HAD been dealt with, and if he looked away he would be staring at the significantly bigger and thicker pile on his other side. He groaned every time he did, and leant back in his chair with a pathetic flail of his arms at either side, imitating some sort of sea-mammal stranded on the beach with no hope in sight unless it was. “FUM, FOE, FIE, FEE!” screamed Mortimer. “TIS A STINKING ENGLISHMAN STEALING MY GOOSE I SEE!”“Ohhhhh shit!” moaned Jack.The goose did. And for you city folk, you need to know that geese excel at that particular bodily function. More about that later.It was a footrace. It shouldn’t have been much of a contest at all, what with Mortimer covering as much ground in one stride as it took Jack three to traverse.But that goose unlimbered a good five or six pounds of slippery gray goo which, after the. More

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