As he finishes he pushes your face into the pillow and contemptuously exclaims that word: “faggot!”Ther it is. What you have always been deluding ...ourself into believing that you are not.You know he is right.There is now no rationalisation that you can hide behind.He does up his fly an leaves, as you lie there limply; motionless; pathetically. Unable to move a muscle but whimpering and sobbing like a girl.You know that you have passed the point of no return.You can no longer be a man. And you. Walking around the desk with a tokuri, it's a small bulbous ceramic flask with a narrow neck, in hand. Even from this distance, the distinct scent of the rice wine reached my nostrils and conjured up more than a few associations I had with that particular smell."Sake? It's a good vintage, it might help calm your nerves" he stated, more than asked as he poured an ample quantity into my flat saucer-like cup. I didn't touch it, I didn feel like drinking. I didn't want to drink. Not right now". More

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