Santa's not too keen on that kind of tongue activity no matter how well groomed it is. Claire, I'm sure you're a nice girl, but that's so naughty, San...a might have to skip your house next Christmas. Anyway,thanks for writing. Our next letter comes from Jay who lives in New York.Dear Santa, you brought my girlfriend, Sarah, a vibrator last Christmas for which I've got one thing to say to you. Who the Hell do you think you are bringing a vibrator to a woman without including any batteries to run. I went outside and set the pigs free. As I did that she came rushing over to me grabbing my arm and began pleading in her gibberish. I just took her by the arm and dragged her away. Picked up my pack and headed into the forest in a northerly direction. She was struggling for a bit but soon calmed down and walked beside me.About half an hour later I heard a lot of yelling, coming running towards us from behind were three men. All three covered in a blue colouring, also dressed in skins,. More

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