We survived the early years together, the sadness when the doctors said we could never have children. But we shared the joy, too: the vacations out on...the coast, that little cabin on the lake.I tell you this so maybe you'll understand how heartbroken I was when the news came: My wife had inoperable cancer. It was a few months that seemed like seconds and she was gone. "Until death do you part," as the minister said.I was without solace. Oh, work filled up my days, but the nights stretched on. So severely that she closed herself off from all emotion. She hid behind a smile. She was cold. “What do you mean?” she asked.“Let me ask you a personal question? Really personal?”She shrugged. “Sure.”“Who is your fuck buddy?”She was shocked. The twice shocked at being shocked in the first place. “How did you…how did you know?”“Because I see it all in the way you carry yourself. You can’t go more than a week without sex. But you have no boyfriend.”She sat there for a second. Then laughed. “You. More

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