But I couldn’t possibly be what you wanted. I had to look at myself, be true to myself. I could not go against what I felt in my heart. Please, don'... misunderstand. I’m not saying it is wrong for other women, it just wasn’t right for me. I thought many times, over many hours, about it. I asked myself, why couldn't I just do this? What was the big deal? What was wrong? Why could I not find a woman I liked and would be able to enjoy her? I even talked to other woman, read many stories about. And that in turn made himfeel even more feminine.He made no mention to the girls of the image that had just crossed hismind. He saw himself walking out onto a dimly lit dance floor and thenfolding deeply into the young orderly's arms as a slow romantic tunestarted to play. "Wow!" he thought. I wonder where that came from?"If he had allowed himself to surface the entire image he might have seenhimself standing on his high heels with the handsome orderly toweringabove him. He'd have tilted his. More

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