I began sliding down the hill as my bottom bounced down the hill. At the bottom, I planted my feet into the 12 inches of thick mud. But my momentum ca...ried me forward. So I face-planted into the mud with a SPLAT! I laid still, face first in the mud with my butt pooched in the air.A large crowd of people had gathered to watch. I pushed my face out of the mud and spat out a mouthful of mud. As I stood to my feet, I could tell my footing was slippery in the mud. My feet slipped straight out in. The next thing that I noticed was that the back rows were almost empty. Randy led Sally into the pew ahead of the one I always sat in. It was almost as if Sally and I had consulted on what we would wear because she was wearing a mini-dress identical to mine except it was a deep burgundy color. As we waited for the services to begin, I opened the package to find the g-strings that we had left in the pews last Sunday freshly laundered and neatly folded. I reached over the back the pew and dropped. More

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