"Swappy Lady, Swappy Lady, Swappy Lady."I invented further refinements of the rules to explain my lack ofsuccess. I had to be mirroring the pose of th... girl, otherwise sensationsfrom my male body would also hold me back. To clarify - if I had beensitting and she was standing, a tiny part of me wouldn't be thinkingabout jumping, but would be anticipating about how if Swappy Lady wassuccessful - there would have to be a moment when the seat was there andthen not there. My legs would have to. As it turns out, I didn’t go running right back to him. The guilt I’d shoved back for my temporary pleasure hit me full blast when I got home. I sobbed in the shower for ages. The worst part was I didn’t regret it. It was one of the most extraordinary experiences of my life, and I just hated that it was so messed up.I ignored Patrick’s calls for the day and spent the night at my friend Sophie’s, just in case he showed up. I doubted he would—he couldn’t be that desperate for pussy—but I was too. More

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