The last few weeks had been a rollercoaster of emotions I was barelyprepared to process now, let alone in those moments then. My mindfluctuated so har... every day between loving my new clothes and wanting tokeep going and accept my feminized persona and be Lily with Erin all thetime, and hating what I had become, wanting it only to be over andregretting that I ever had to be chosen in the first place. I loved mynew clothes and I loved Erin, but I was ashamed to love them like I didand I was. I finally said, “Jennifer begged me to let her shove a dildo up my ass!”Brittany looked very amused and turned to give Jennifer a funny look.Then I explained that she was still laughing because I told her about how we used to get sperm from bulls to artificially inseminate cows. When I got that out Jennifer still laughing said, “Isn’t that one of the most perverted things you ever heard?”Brittany grinned and said, “I’ve helped to do that to some of our horses!”Upon hearing that, Jennifer just. More

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