"I roll my eyes and recite, "Lemme guess," picturing more retail wreckage as Dawn's peek-a-boo nearness turns a mild-mannered druggist into the prover...ial china-shop bull."Nah, it didn't happen like that. He told me to wait in his office while he locked up. I sat on his desk, yoga-style and faced the door."A lotus pose, perhaps? Even through extra layers, the cutoffs' rough inseam tongues my swollen groove."When he came in and saw a better replay of what wasn't under the skirt, I thought he was. ’My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.I’m so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.The other day I came home early and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, ‘Why?’ He said, ‘Because you came home early.’My wife’s such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.I know I’m not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.My wife is such a bad cook. In my house we pray after the. More

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