The way they doggedly seemed to relish living fifty years in the past irritated her. They all believed their village to be old and pretty when it was ...eally decrepit and dull. They all lived in a mail-order catalogue and mirrored each other, the same clothes, same friends and same opinions. And sex? That was a dirty word that didn’t even feature in the local graffiti. She drew her stool closer to matron. ‘You’re a fine one to talk, you never go anywhere yourself. What on earth made you settle. .” she pauses and smiles, “it’s got a padded front so it doesn’t rub and chafe in the wrong places.”I feel myself blushing even more even though I know it is impossible. I’m already the colour of a fire engine as she turns to the wall of dildos. There are dildos, vibrators and girlcocks of almost every conceivable size, shape and colour. “What size do you think your lover would like?” She grins as she looks at me.“Fuck, I’ve no idea. What would you go for?” I ask, pleadingly.She reaches up and. More

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