" "Welcome." "It's such a shame we couldn't come up with a deal on the mini." "Yea, I know." "Why do you need the money so desperately?" "Oh. It's my ...tep-dad. He's being an unreasonable fucker." "Really?" I said, "How so?" "Well, I owe him a thousand quid and now he's saying he needs it by the end of the week." "Oh wow. Hence the need for a quick sale." "Yea." Silence, but now my mind was working. "Nigel," I started, tentatively, "What if... What if you let me talk to your step-dad?" "What?. Right, don’t panic … you were a Guide, a Cub Leader … be prepared – be inventive … OK, my largest saucepan is quickly converted into a deep fat fryer!!! Start to cook the oven chips and put the steaks onto grill. Start to coat the prawns … the oil should be warm enough by now. Put the first one in – and no! It’s not. Wait another minute … put another prawn in … that’s better! OK, dip in flour, coat in batter, put in hot oil … OUCH, it splashed me … JUST IGNORE the burn … dip, coat, oil and on. More

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