" Thanks," I said, cautiously. I was trying to decide if he was real, ornot. That's the trouble with schizophrenia: you never know if you'retalking to...a real person, or just a passing hallucination.Above all, I was feeling my way through this baffling and complexconversation. Only those who have been right to the brink of suicide willunderstand the etiquette of the situation: even though you're fullyintending to die a horrible death within minutes, the fear ofembarrassment is as real as ever.. The livingroom was huge, with panels and pillars, and strategically placed was an enormous armchair, almost like a throne, where my gods led me. Then two of them sat down on the carpet at my feet, and the third took up position in front of me. My God he was beautiful. I tell you. Not an ounce of fat, not one hair on his body, his muscles rippling and bulging, but not like one of those ugly weight-lifters. They were there all of them, but not overly large. You have seen the Greek statues, that. More

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