I wouldn't drink anythinguntil I was 100% sure of what would happen. I had time so long aspeople thought I was on vacation.Around six in the evening,...I decided to give myself a break. I wentinto the kitchen, tossed something into the microwave, and sat down. Ipulled the little magnetic memo pad off the fridge, uncapped theattached pen, and started writing without thinking about it:"Don't worry, I'm in control now."I hadn't meant to write that. I hadn't meant to write that, what did itmean? . Men like that. Bastards. Anyway, eventually, we were cosied down on the bunk, under the thin blanket, in the dark, starkers. Shy I'm not.Jeremy was a slow, unhurried lover, always treating me like some fragile ornament that might smash if he was too rough. I'm not complaining. I enjoyed the attention, and our lovemaking was the best I've ever had. We lay for quite some time, he caressing my body with his gentle hands, me stroking his buttocks and his testicles quietly in the dark. Neither of us. More

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