It was primitive stuff then but apparently we'd used the ideas as the basis for our initial preparation. Apparently Rachel was a big fan of the Ipcres... File — a book by Len Deighton and a movie in the sixties with Michael Caine. In the movie, Caine's character distracts himself from the brainwashing by using pain — he drives a nail into the palm of his hand during the brainwashing sessions. Rachel had been using the same approach, but without leaving any marks. She'd retreated into the pain and. This, this right here, was what I had been looking for, all my life, eventhough I didn't know I was looking. But now that I'd found it, now that Iknew my true role in life, now that I had the knowledge to enlighten mysoul to its most natural place, now that I could see and feel what realjoy was, there was no way I was ever going back to my old life.This was where I needed to be. Wanted to be. Had to be. Yearned to be.Desired to be.Dressed in sexy lingerie, under a man's body, his cock. More

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