"I am NOT a girl." I head downstairs to the living room, where I collapse on the sofa andimmediately relax in a way I simply wasn't able to in Spain. ...ith mum anddad away until Saturday, I'll be able to spend three whole days as Ian- justlong enough for forget that when they're back, I'll have to become'Kayleigh-Ann' once again. After a disgusting lunch of vegetables andgrains, I relax back down on the sofa... And I suddenly realise that this isthe first time in a while that I've been 'Ian' for. They have a golf course management degree, for Christ's sake. Who it the fuck needs a four-year degree to push a lawn mower." It takes them 3 years just to figure out how to start it," she said. "You know you have to put down the beer to pull the cord. So, anyway, call Carrie and let me know, OK?"I agreed and called my house. Not surprisingly — since I was driving my car — Carrie was there."Hey, any plans for tonight?" I asked."Oh, yeah," she said. "My ass, your couch, my alma mater on the. More

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