I always told them it was because I was scared of getting drunk, I had no wish to lose my faculties, but it offered a distraction from listening to th...m drone on and on. And because I liked to drive.By the time we would get home, they would stand in the kitchen, continuing their tales of grandeur and I would slide off to my room when they weren't paying attention. A couple times they caught me and asked me "Hey, where you going?" I'm tired." was the excuse I gave most often. Sometimes I would. 50! I nearly shit my pants when I saw the price. ‘They’re not hold-ups, they need a suspender belt.’ The immaculately dressed sales woman reminded me. ‘I know.’ I gulped like a naughty schoolgirl caught buying cigarettes. She smiled knowingly as she rang up the sale and I handed over the cash. It wasn’t difficult for her to work out why I wanted ‘proper seamed stockings’ – was it? You never see anyone actually wearing them in the street, so she must have known I was going to have sex! I’m 37. More

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