. A man walks into a pastry shop and orders 5 pies, 3 sausage rolls and 2 cakes. As he leaves the shop he stumbles across a homeless man on the footpa...h who says, “I haven’t eaten for two days”, to which the man with the pastries replies; “I wish I had your willpower”!!!Jack: Just bought a hearing-aid for two dollars!Jill: What kind is it?Jack: Quarter past ten.A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.Tech support: Are you running it under windows?Customer:. Pour some cool water over your hand, and you should feel much better. But you should have learned a valuable lesson, namely, bullets and other such cannot penetrate your shield, but you will still feel some effects, so you will have to try to avoid being shot. Otherwise, you are going to suffer some pain!" Thanks. That makes sense. It looks like I can't be a human shield for other people, except in emergencies. The cool water helped a lot. Maybe, I should just keep a raincloud over my head all. More

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