" Don't you think it's weird you're, like, sharing tights with your Dad?" No! Duh. I was always nicking Mum's." Yeah, but your Mum is your Mum." You t...ink Dad should have to go to work bare legged? Harsh!" Yeah, but tights! Why do you even still call her Dad?" Duh! She's my Dad, retard!" Your Dad's called Jennifer. You're, like, the only girl in school whohas a Dad called Jennifer!" And you're the only girl in school with a tattoo. Who cares? Besides, Ican't call her Mum - Mum's Mum. Two Mums. "HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO EXPLAIN THIS???" "You'll think of something," she said, dropping the keys into her cleavage. "You always do." "But suppose I have to go to the bathroom," I countered. "Don't give me that," she said. "I've seen you go for a whole day without visiting the bathroom." "But...," I tried to say. "SHHH! The subject is closed. I'll be back at five. Bye."She turned and left, against my hushed protests. I sat in panic and tried to think out my situation. I tried to think of. More

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