“A 4-shot Americano. Now that’s real coffee. I couldn’t go a morning without a cup of coffee, I tell you. I could drink a double-espresso right ...ow and sleep like a baby all night long. It wouldn’t bother me at all. I just like coffee. It’s not like an addiction or anything. It doesn’t really affect me. But a day is so empty without it. I know everyplace that serves free coffee. When you’re out on the open road, you look for those rest stops where the local Kiwanis are serving coffee to keep. As many as you wish to give me, of course. I want to spread my cheeks and take it up the ass for you, too. I’m your thrall, your abject slut for life, after all! Please keep me! Please don’t send me away! I want to stay with you for the rest of my life! I can work as an anchorwoman or do something else with my life, as long as I get to stay with you! I just don’t want to ever leave your side! You can put a leash and collar on me, and please do so if it pleases you, sir! I will proudly walk out. More

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