Sandy knows that the mortgage needs to be paid on the 14th of every month. I make sure that there's always enough money in the checking account. Her j...b is to write the checks and get them in the mail. Yesterday morning I got a call from the bank Manager, reminding me that the mortgage hadn't been paid that month. Nothing nasty, mind you, just a courtesy call to make sure that something that important hadn't been lost or overlooked. I apologized and advised him that I would take him a check. I flinched disgustedly. The smell was off the charts, a truly horrifying stink that could peel the paint off walls. A cloying, rotten cheesiness and an unbearably sour, vinegary stench that would make even the most hardcore foot fetishist think twice. Used against a poor, unwilling subject, it could be classified as a weapon of nasal torture. I had always been fascinated by them, as if they were some challenge that I one day hoped to overcome and finally be able to smell without immediately. More

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