***Today I was leaving hospital and going home with Becky's parents. They arrived around 10 and drove me 'home'. I knew the house fairly well downstai...s, but had only once been up into Rachel's room. Fortunately a very old sign on a door that read "Becky's Room" was my best clue as to which door to take. After entering, I glanced around the room. On a wall, several posters were tacked up. Eminem, Marilyn Manson and Madonna were the most obvious. A large teddy bear sat on the bed. A new-age. That first cup was extremely strong, but I needed it to help calm my nerves. Suddenly I had reservations about doing this. I began to contemplate the most ridicules and abstract thoughts imaginable. Would I 'perform' to everyone's mutual satisfaction? Would I embarrass myself, and in doing so, embarrass and disappoint Maggie? Would I offend or step out of line by inadvertently saying or doing something I wasn't supposed to do, or worse... offend someone else by not doing something I was. More

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