As Xander opened the box and pulled out the rattle, the teddy bear, and the other toys we’d happily bought in anticipation of her arrival, I picked ...p a picture of our little bundle. In the photo, Xander held her. Even now, I was amazed at how much she looked like his side of the family, with her red hair and light eyes. ‘She should be outside riding her bike,’ I sobbed, putting my head on Xander’s shoulder. ‘It’s nobody’s fault she died the same night she was born,’ he put his arms around me,. The restIs never better. It only serves to takeAway all that I had, all that ICould ever want or need.I’m dying in my hole. I’m crying for my soul.I’m already lying by saying that I care at all.When did it start?It’s already gone.Why did I cry?I’ve already been away so long.How did I get to this,To miss this thing, to be moreThan a bit unseen, obscene, unclean, unloved,Under things that eat my soulLike a big, black bug.I’m undone.I’m already over, but I’m under,And I’m not the only one.I’m. More

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