” “There are a lot of good reasons not to,” he said. “But there’s one great reason to do it anyway: We both wanted it and we both enjoyed t...e hell out of it.” “I don’t know,” I said again. “I guess I’ll have to think about it.” “You do that,” he said. “But at 8:00, I’ll be in bed waiting for you. The front door will be unlocked.” He hung up. I looked at the clock. Two p.m. I lay down in a sunny spot on the couch and went to sleep. At 8:03 I was standing outside his place with my hand on. I wanted to be with people but I wanted to hide away from everybody. I wanted to have a bath and get clean but I didn’t want to take my clothes off. I wanted to ask Mum why she had gotten upset about me doing a drawing in her style but I didn’t want to talk to her. I wanted to make peace with Tara but I didn’t want to have anything to do with her. There were things I wanted that I couldn’t name. Things I wanted to stop that I couldn’t identify. All this stuff was swirling around inside me with. More

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