"I look around to find Spangenburg in the arms of Gerda Carpentier."The Leutnant is busy," I tell the Captain.Having overseen the situation at the Bri...ish camp, I ride with the British Captain back to Rungwa. He speaks little, but is polite and civil. Upon his face is an expression similar to euphoria. I fear the Britisher has quite lost his wits.Leutnant Spangenburg has elected to remain behind with Gerda, who has chosen to care for a number of the British wounded. Carpentier, therefore,. Looking for some way to feel better, I join Lush. It becomes my escape from reality and I begin reading and even writing stories about sex.I successfully publish a few stories about some of my fantasies. To be honest, it feels good. When readers comment on my fantasies, they help rebuild my self-esteem. If a reader comments, "Sexy read," I feel sexy inside. One day, I stumble upon a female author whose writings attract my attention. She writes some D/s stuff which has been a growing fantasy of. More

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