And I found myself talking about America. Oh, nothing of any consequence, just general stuff about the places I’d been and some of the more interest...ng things I’d seen. And yes, I showed her the photo of the world’s largest elastic band ball—what can I say? I thought it was pretty cool, okay?Back at my house—you know, I really needed to stop thinking of it as my house. It was Vicky’s and she was selling it. And I was moving out in a few days.But anyway, back at my house, we grabbed a drink from. ‎Santa was very cross. It was Christmas Eve and NOTHING was going right. Mrs Claus had burned all the cookies. The elves were complaining about not getting paid for the overtime they had worked while making the toys. The reindeer had been drinking all afternoon and were dead drunk. To make matters worse, they had taken the sleigh out for a spin earlier in the day and had crashed it into a tree. Santa was furious. “I can’t believe it! I’ve got to deliver millions of presents all over the world. More

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