Despite this very slowlydiminishing pain, it was undeniably fun for the three of us girls tolive together. Penelope and I became fast friends, and Mir...am did notgive any indication that she disapproved of this connection. In fact,she encouraged us to go out together to see shows and concerts and weobliged her by doing so.One day when Penelope and I were sitting in a cafe talking, a young manat the next table recognized me and asked if Penelope would take ourpicture together. After she had done. He wouldn’t be happy about it, but he would take the pain and suffering to ensure my happiness. My anger wasn’t that he would do these things, but that he would do them without challenging me or my motivation, something which a more classically masculine or assertive husband would have done, helping to protect me from myself. Beating myself up about my own behavior, sometimes during these days I shifted some of the blame from myself by thinking of how a different type of husband who would have. More

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