"As I was saying, friend, I know you've probably got more questions than I could throw a biscuit at, but unfortunately, I don't have answers for you."...Well, no. That's a lie. I just lied to you. Force of habit, honestly. Apologies, mate, no offense meant," he explains with what you can only assume to be sincerity. "Truth be told, I've got your answers, but I can only tell you three things." One," he proclaims as he raises his pinky finger, as if to count them off for you. "My name is Charles.. From the corner of my eye, I detected a short, attractive brunette waving a well-endowed cucumber around as if she was conducting Wagner, the Vegan years. Luckily I don't demand intelligence for a sexual tryst since she was asking the proprietor what size batteries the cucumber used. Being helpful to a flaw, I edged next to her meaning to elbow her in the ribs for clarification. Unfortunately, she was considerably shorter than I realized so instead of the ribs my elbow struck her directly in. More

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