Bring me another beer.’”Tommy Lasorda, Los Angeles Dodgers manager: “I found out that it’s not good to talk about my troubles. Eighty percent ...f the people who hear them don’t care and the other twenty percent are glad I’m having them.”E.J. Holub, Kansas City Chiefs linebacker regarding his twelve knee operations: “My knees look like they lost a knife fight with a midget.”Vic Braden, tennis instructor: “My theory is that if you buy an ice cream cone and make it hit your mouth, you can learn to. The afternoon sped by and come teatime there was the sound of the front door opening. Her dad walked into the room and there was a general chorus of; "hi's" and "hellos!" Haven't you lot got homes to go to?"Her dad's grumpy response was one that they had all heard many times before. They all knew that their dad loved them, but having raised eight children to the best of their ability and sent them out into the world; he now felt that they had done their bit, and that he and his wife should now. More

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