My heart is racing and I am looking around to make sure no one is nearby, feeling somehow that my interest in such a work of fiction is inappropriate....I would not want others in my small town to catch me reading it. I carefully place my hands over the cover in a way that obscures the title.The prose is poetic and lurid and deals with some shocking subject matter. I am both aroused and conflicted as I read. I find myself laughing as I peruse Anais Nin's 'letter to her sponsor" in which she hurls. “What would she say, and do, if she caught you?”You start to develop dark imagery of being caught, exposed and humiliated. They fill you with intense fear but, through constant association with the sensual and emotional girlie pleasures you’re immersed in, and the erotic ecstasy of pleasuring yourself and slowly bring yourself to climax, they conflate into a kind of dark fantasy which arouses you. After you’ve climaxed, with the erotic arousal spent, you suddenly see yourself not as the girl. More

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