But I didn't mind, because I was so busy, you know? And grad school was just a blur. And now, I'm ALWAYS busy! I mean, I'm only suppose to work eight ...ours a day ... but right off the bat, I started working twelve. And now, everybody just assumes that's what I'm always going to do."And Mother was RIGHT! I've never loved ANYBODY! Not once! Not ever! And now ... now I've just GOT to know what it's like! I HAVE to! Before I do anything else ... ever ... before I do one more thing, I need to. My phone rings, I know it is you by the ringtone, “only you can love me this way”, I haven’t had the heart to change it yet. My heart feels like it is going to leap out of my chest and I feel as if I am going to vomit. What do you want, why are you calling me? I debate on answering the call, I don’t want to hurt anymore. Against my better judgment I pick up my phone and say “hello” in the sweetest tone I can get out of my mouth. “Hi” I hear you say. I can’t see you, but I envision the word. More

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