Xxxxxx:Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ba... both of you from the store.Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Xxxxxx, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:1. March 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.2. May 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.3. May. The state would love to see rehabilitation in action ... it was hiring an ex-felon and then arming him with a weapon that was the sour apple in a bunch of sweet grapes ... so to speak.Mr. Pretentious had taken the “do you know who I am?” schtick just a trifle too far. Suddenly it didn’t matter who he was ... Australia and unlicensed handguns didn’t get along ... no ... not at all.Mr. Pretentious was charged with assault and gun running ... well ... it was just one gun but they had to charge him. More

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