"If I confront him with my feelings, how would he react?" asked Natty. "Would he be annoyed, wondering why I don't mind my own business? Would he care...if Joseph disassociated himself, taking away the Order instead of having the opportunity to participate in its earliest development, because Joseph is already at work on his second book? Would he feel used, not only in giving us shelter and having us shun him, but bargaining with him, forcing him to choose between great profit and a great. Then I took stock of the situation. I had been concentrating on applyingmy makeup and was amazingly, feeling a shimmer of pride in my efforts!What the fuck was wrong with me! I had also referred to myself as 'SHE'in a number of my thoughts and more disturbingly had subconsciouslythought of: 'MY makeup!' 'MY clothes!' and 'MY shoes!' What the fuck washappening to me! Was I turning into some kind of willing participant in this sick, fucked world that Eddie had created inside this prison!I bought. More

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