I went for my nightly walks, taking the dog with me. I sat on the bank’s edge by the creek and bawled my eyes out. My family needed me, but I couldn...��t give them anything of myself. I had nothing to give. Why me? Why the hell me? Why let me fall in love so deeply, only to take it away from me? I couldn’t come to terms with the loss at all. At any point in any day, I would burst into tears. The loss of control I felt when these tears smothered me, scared me to death. I could be in my car driving. I wondered if it would clog my pores. If I would then get acne. If that is how those acned-ruddy faces at school got that way---because fully adult women with deep butts were rubbing ass-wetness in their faces.It was so different from Tori who had only been tacky and nearly dry. As Lori she slowly ground it into my face, I felt some of her moisture beginning to press up into my nostrils. I knew that once it was there, the smell of her womanly rear-end would be with me for hours. Every time I. More

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