’ ‘If you had agreed to my suggestion there would have been no problem.’ ‘I will not condone the wholesale slaughter of innocent people just t... kill three.’ ‘Suit yourself. All it would have taken would have been a pressure sensitive detonator and a couple of kilos of semtex fitted to the cargo door of their plane and pfffft! No trace, no problem.’ 10.30am and the early morning peak hour had given way to the first rush of shoppers looking for that ever elusive bargain in the city stores. The. He sees an old lady yanking on her boobs and an old man jerking off. He is so freaked out that he goes to the next house and says “What’s up with your neighbours?” and the owner of the house says “Oh that’s the Robinson’s, they’re both deaf. She’s telling him to go milk the cow and he’s telling her to go fuck herself!”An out of work actor gets a call from his agent one day. “I’ve got you a job” says the agent. “That’s great!” says the actor “What is it?” “Well” says the agent “it’s a one-liner”. More

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