I then heard Tracy say, "I am not bidding on him!"Beth turned to me, I took another deep breath, this time I found my center, and I felt the weight of...the world fall off my shoulders. I mentally did my little prayer. 'I can only control what I can control.' I pushed all my feelings into a little box and hid it deep inside of me. At least now, I knew, it was the doubt that had been eating me up. I surprised everyone when I smiled, and they could tell it was not a forced smile, but a genuine. On consideration, K admitted returning to the way things werewasn't a tremendously compelling goal. Given the choice between "oldKeith:" At the end of a modestly successful career, no immediate family tospeak of, limited circle of friends and acquaintances, and failing health'and "new Kei" with seemingly endless prospects, youth and health andaccess to "old Keith's" finances, "new Kei," despite the sex change anddisconnecting loss of "self," was a pretty attractive alternative. K wasmotivated. More

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