There was a young man of kildaireWho was fucking a girl on the stair.The bannister broke,But he doubled his strokeAnd finished her off in mid-air.Ther... was a young girl from new yorkWho plugged up her cunt with a cork.A woodpecker or twoMade the grade, it is true,But it totally baffled the stork.Till along came a man who presentedA tool that was strangely indented.With a dizzying twirlHe punctured that girl,And thus was the corkscrew invented.There was a young lady of norwayWho hung by her. "What did the old fart want?"Linda shifted her position on the couch. "He had called Friday afternoon, and said he was going to make the funeral arrangements if I didn't mind. Of course I didn't mind. I couldn't stand the thought of making them myself. He called me last night to let me know the funeral will be tomorrow at 2:00 P.M... They are having a "viewing" tonight at the funeral home in Orinda, but I can't go. He's making a circus out of this, with an open casket, and he wants everyone in. More

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