Let it go...put it in me...fertilise me...make me pregnant...I want a baby...I want...oh God...I need...I want...oooaw....oooaw...darling...yes...yes.....aaaaow..."I was lost in her, pumping my seed in deep as if responding to her cry to be fertilised. I'm not sure to this day whether I really understood that cry - that it was seriously meant. Certainly it was different from the usual cries of the girls I had copulated with – "Don't make me pregnant will you" – but with mother I had been given. Quite a bit older than me. A ghostly guru. Wise and poetic/ wild and sensual/ sharp as a razor too. A kind of super-exagerated Patti Smith. I remember listening to *Horses*/ *Radio Ethiopia* and *Easter* when I was eighteen. I could hardly believe Id discovered this woman who knew so much about my secret self. A poet with the dark passion of the Symbolists and the fucked-up rock n roll intensity of Jim Morrison/ Lou Reed/ Iggy Stooge. She had no guilt. Talked as dirty as any man. A real Cowboy. More

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