. I wish you hadn't had to see that. I wish today wasn't happening. I really do. I'm sorry." She came and knelt at my side.I looked at her, "I loved y...u, Penny. I loved you with all my heart. And you betray me. You betray us. How could you? ... Why Penny? Why?"Now she was crying, "Oh! I've asked Why so many times. What was wrong with me? I don't know, Tom. I don't know. I wish I did." She crumpled and collapsed downward in defeat.As she crumpled downwards I felt my anger rise upwards, "You. That story seemed to be educating me, preparing me to view as erotic something that until then would simply have been repulsive, unthinkable, horrifying, and saddening, all at the same time. And Emily’s strategy had worked. The magic of her words, her descriptions and the contagious nature of her own desire had, in the past year, planted in my psyche the idea that sharing her with another man wrapped together pain and pleasure, jealousy and arousal, perversion and love. I took the pages out of. More

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