Finally, when I couldn’t stand it any longer, I came up with a bold plan. One night, when I heard Trish walk Phil out to his car to say good night, ... acted. I knew I had at least ten minutes, but my heart pounded in my chest nonetheless as I quickly enacted my plan. I knew my parents were in their bedroom and unlikely to come out at this hour. I quickly and quietly snuck into Trish’s bedroom, unplugged the massager and took it downstairs. I turned on SportsCenter on TV and waited. After a few. Although, I have a sharp, serious stare that weakens them to their knees. "His eyes are so blue, they're like the shiny water in Barbados..." "I think he's gigantic under those dress pants." "If he has a wife, she needs a plaque for the 'Luckiest Woman in the World.'" It was a Tuesday morning when Mrs. Swivel popped into my office, about an hour before school started. I was getting a head start with my paperwork while sipping on some coffee as I heard a knock on the door. "Come in!" I called. More

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