.and I keep thinking of you all day..." I said."Really...?Because...I...really like you...I mean...you are special...you make me laugh, you comfort me...when I'm upset...and I've never felt like this towards anyone..." He said."...me neither..."I said."Yeah but I pretty much like you....uh...I mean...uh....nevermind..." He said."oh come on...end it..." I said."I'm afraid of it...we're fine as brothers...and friends..." he said."But it's ok..." I said...he let out a sigh and looked at me again."I. ..all fantasies of mine.Yes, it's an oxymoron. I watch lesbian or heterosexual porn while reading gay porn. It does not seem to make sense at first, but in reality it does.When I read gay stories I get drawn in and imagine myself as the straight man, the white man, or the blackmailed man (on rare occasions all three in one).Yet, when I watch porn, I just see a guy sucking another guy and that doesn't turn me on. It, ironically, seems gay and although I love sucking cock, I strangely don't see. More

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