Eitherone, I would have rather died.I really, really wish I didn't have to spend so much mental energy ontrying to get feminized, if only once. Over t...e years it felt like everydecent chance fell through my grasp or was way too conspicuous for anycomfort at all. It seemed like any time a girl would do something girlyto a boy, like tie a ribbon or clip a barrette in his hair at lunch, itwas always because she was flirting with him. Girls didn't flirt with me.But high school revealed a lot more. Miranda slowly sat down across from me. ‘I’m fine,’ I lied. ‘Just… just felt a little nauseated for a second. I skipped lunch.’ ‘Oh good Lord, Deke. Eat!’ she insisted, pushing the pizza box across the table towards me. I took a slice and had soon finished it and was reaching for another. Miranda watched me with curiosity and seemed ready to say something when my phone rang. I looked at the number and weighed my options. It was my mother. At the moment, I didn’t trust myself enough to talk to. More

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