“What the fuck is going on Anne? Why is some cunt half dead on the doorstep?She starts wailing and one of the cops says, “Mr Dougan, calm yourself...down.”“Why? more to the point how? I demand, “I get home after a long day and find all this shit going on and no fucker will tell me why.”The two plain clothes look at each other and the one that told me to calm down speaks, “At 11:49 a call was made to the emergency services and reported a man being beaten at this address, a car was despatched but. I think it was probably that I was insecure at that age despite the fact that I was so pretty. So this whole kind of sordid episode was providing me with an ego boost, a confirmation of just how appealing I was to the opposite sex. Anyway, whatever, I behaved like an utter bitch. That’s the point. You’re perhaps wondering what came next. Well, you’ll be surprised. I said how we didn’t really do any of that rather vile mocking of poor P on the morning after, didn’t I? Okay, so we didn’t. What. More

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