I bathed thoroughly. I dried myself off and entered my bedroom with its king-sized bed. I removed the duvet and put it to one side on the floor. Th... bed now looked like a platform, or a stage. It looked like it had a purpose other than for sleeping in.Checking the time I had maybe 20 minutes till he was due. I lay on my back thinking about what I was about to do - meet a total stranger off the internet for some rough anonymous sex. Instead of the wariness I should have felt I found myself. Suddenly he lets out an almighty ear-splitting shriek.He turns to Jane and says "Jane, if I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times ... GRAB! THE! VINE!!!"-- and two that go togetherQ: Why do elephants paint their balls red?A: So they can hide in apple trees.Q: How did Tarzan die?A: Picking apples.Building PermitSome have asked what I've been doing in retirement. Well, I applied for a building permit for a new house.It was going to be 100 ft. tall and 400 ft. wide, with 12 gun turrets. More

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