And he still wanted her, and hated himself for wanting her.His work continued. He did what they wanted him to do. Designed what he wanted him to do, i... whatever inane crazy way that they wanted it done. It was wrong, but he had given up telling them it was wrong. They knew best. He was thirty today. He got the automated "Happy Birthday" email from HR. 30."Was thirty suppose to feel like this?" he asked himself.He was 30; he had all his hair, and was lean with a runner's body. He thought of. I had come a long way. I felt better, lost weight, Iloved how my skin and hair felt. I was into my appearance more and moreand felt more feminine every day. I said I would have to really thinkabout that seriously. I was nervous and not sure what to expect. At thispoint I knew deep inside I wanted to go further, but was so worried aboutmy kids and family overall. I realized that I should maybe accept thefact that I was transgender. I was trying so hard to hide everything, butI was enjoying what. More

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